I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
