This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
