my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
