i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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