Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
