You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
