If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
