just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
