We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
