I CAN MOONWALK!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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