if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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