Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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