MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
