Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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