I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just want nice things and good sex
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
