I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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