the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
