he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
