New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
