dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
