Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
