sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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