She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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