You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
