it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize