I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize