Jerry, you need to find god
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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