He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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