If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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