Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
