everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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