so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Shame - the story of my life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
