i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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