i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
