No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
