Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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