if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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