Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
