I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
