i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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