I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
where are my eyebrows?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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