just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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