you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize