i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
