We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just had sex on a roof
Is Oprah even human
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
