so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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