Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
