I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
