Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If I die, sorry about rent.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize