Do vagina's smell?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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