I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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