So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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