So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
