I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
