I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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