good thing vaginas are great cup holders
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
