Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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