we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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