i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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