handjob tips. give me some.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
