If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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