If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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