do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
