Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize