Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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