Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
