you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
