new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
