READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
