I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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