i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
