I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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