Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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