It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize