So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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