whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
