the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize