If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
