Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
