you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The struggles of a small town man whore
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
