I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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