As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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