bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then he tried to convert me to islam
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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