Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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