my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize